Throughout my secondary and university years in Nigeria I felt it was normal to like girls (women) and despite enjoying the company of boys (men) as friends, it did not occur to me (or perhaps I was in denial) that I could be sexual with someone of the same gender as me. Funnily enough, most of my close friends were women, though this has since changed. I was quite a loner during my years in Nigeria and had many acquaintances but very few friends. I am a very complex individual still discovering myself and will be possibly discovering myself until I die. Both my parents used me as a pawn to get at each other and this impacted in shaping who I was and who I have now become. I was more focussed on completing my education and moving back to the UK and becoming independent and emancipated from my parents and my father’s relatives. My sexuality was far from my mind throughout my secondary and university years. between different relatives because my parents were no longer together. I say this because I focussed my energy on surviving the difficulties of adjusting to a new environment and in fact a new way of life. I am not sure whether it was to my advantage or not that I was sent to live in Nigeria when I was 10 years old. This personal journey has had a negative and in some cases positive impact on a number of people lives, but it was a journey that I needed to go through. I am still happily married despite going on a difficult journey to accept my sexuality. I got married in December 1989 before finally moving to the UK. I had in fact been married for 4 years by this time. My first same gender sexual liaison was in 1993. I came back to the UK finally in December 1989.

My parents separated, moved to Nigeria in 1975 and left us with relatives in the UK who eventually sent us to live with my dad in Nigeria in August 1977. I was born in the UK to parents of Nigerian descent who came to the UK to study.

Fist of the first man